Dave

Dave, in honor of your special day, I am forcing the masses to wait yet another day to hear my story about critter infestation of my household.

Just for you, I've written a very clever and incredibly witty poem, and post.
Here it is.


Dave
You are fifty
You are also kind of nifty
Your eyes are not shifty
And since I am thrifty
This is my gifty
To you

Ahem.
Anyway.

Since I suppose I should be nice to you, on this, your special day, I thought it might be cool to tell you some of the things that I particularly like about you.

For one thing, it's a really good thing that I found out early on that you were a fan of U2.  It was your saving grace, to be honest.  I never would have tolerated your Madonna and Sinead bashing if it hadn't been for that.  You also knew about The Fixx, and despite your outwardly white Republican appearance, your taste in music was pretty good, apart from the Pearl Jam thing.

I have a pretty large bank of memories in my brain filed under "Dave", and here are just a few of the funny scenarios residing in there:

1. The time when you made a racial slur at the dinner table, and my father read you the riot act. *
2. The time we had a blackout and we were playing charades, and the look on  your face when Mom shouted out the c-word when the answer was supposed to be "The Deer Hunter."
3. When my parents put a protective line of pillows between you and Libby because you were trying to get frisky with her after a Family event.  And you weren't even married yet.  Shame shame.
4. You breaking into our house by climbing through my bedroom window and almost breaking your back.
5.  How you feelin!?  HOT, HOT, HOT.
6. The goat saying "grraaandmaaaaaa."
7. Watching all those $hitty musical kid videos over and over and turning them into our own little fun time.
8. Your home made cards made from magazine cuttings.
9. Vanilla candles.

Of course, those are the funny ones, but there were also many times when the situation was perhaps not as funny, but you were there.  Through the years, you have always been a support, a friend when I needed it, and my comic relief.  You've been my savior at large functions, the guy who asked me to dance at weddings (not in an ewww way), and the guy who used to leave a roll with butter on my desk in the morning at work.

We've shared soooo many laughs about the stupid things in work, in life, in parenting.  And thank God for that.  And even though we differ on a few topics, I know that our mutual hatred for Facebook will always be a shining light in our relationship.

So, thank you, Dave, for making my world a more humorous place.  Thank you for listening, and understanding, and sending me pictures of drunk Winnie the Pooh.  And above all, HB, rotfl, smh, ttyl, idts, and LMFAO.

And Happy New Year to you.

In jail!


* For all of you wondering, it was not an actual racial slur, Dave is a very nice Man