So, I recently decided that I should update my photo on my Facebook profile. The old one was nearly a year old, somewhat blurry, and frankly, I had a pretty crappy year following the taking of that photo; I considered that perhaps the picture was bad luck, and that maybe a new picture would bring new and happy things to the life of Catherine.
Now, here's the thing: it really concerns me when people post a million pictures of themselves on Facebook. I'm not talking about pictures of them with their spouses, kids, friends, Mickey Mouse; I'm talking about just full on close up (or otherwise) photos of themselves.
A lot of them.
Daily.
I find that young ladies are the main culprit in this, and every time I see these updated photos and profiles, I can't help but roll my eyes. In one of my first forays into the world of Facebook, I was looking over my son's shoulder at the photo album of a female friend. I said, "well, she must really like herself."
Now, in my younger days, I was never one to really shy away from a camera. I never quite understood why people did not like to have their pictures taken. Back in those days, one would take photos at special occasions, bring the roll of film (or a disc, if you were cool) to the local drugstore, and wait for three days to see the documentation of said occasion. The photographer was almost never in his or her own pictures. Imagine how bizarre it would have been to have an entire roll of film developed into pictures of only one, singular, face. Not just any face, but the face of the photographer. Yet it seems to be a highly fashionable thing to do these days, rolls of film or not.
I often wonder about this apparent self-love prevalent in Facebook profiles. Yes, it is good to have self-confidence, and yes, it is important to love yourself- but to have multiple albums - updated daily- of your shining and adorable face- by itself- seems a little strange to me.
I'm not even going to give the benefit of the doubt here by allowing that perhaps the person was taking multiple test shots to find the "good" one, or is sharing a picture of some updated feature (like a hairdo, pair of clogs, or nose piercing), because there will be multiple photos taken within seconds of each other, all with the same hairdo and outfit.
Here's me raising my eyebrows. Here's me pouting. Here's me crossing my eyes. Here's me smiling seductively. Here's me smiling seductively at a different angle. Here's me smiling seductively at another different angle, this time with my cat. Me, me, me, me, me, aren't I fantastic? Oh, and here's me looking fantastic. With a seductive smile. Yay, me!
Enough already, I say.
So, back to the whole photo update. Since I am completely averse to and bemoaning of people who update their photos every three seconds, I was extremely concerned that I might somehow be lumped into that category, even though I haven't updated my picture in a year.
I checked the "only me" box as I was trying to upload and figure out the whole cropping process, made sure I didn't hit my own "share" or "like" or whatever other buttons are there, and went to every setting available, trying to sort out how to just change my cover photo, quietly.
As I was trying to figure out how to change my cover photo (Is it edit? Do I delete the old one first? Why can't I click and drag? Why did it make a new album?), I noticed that the little globe at the top of my page had the number "2" emblazoned upon it (I won't add here that I only just figured out what that was, within the past month or two).
"So and so 'Liked' your picture."
"So and so commented on your picture."
Wait, what? How did they see my picture? I'm not even done figuring out where it goes, and somehow, people have seen it. I frantically started clicking and went to my own Timeline page, and there is a gigantic version of my new photo posted there. I immediately deleted it (even though supposedly it is "only me" who can see most of my timeline) in TWO SPOTS and went back to the photo albums, trying desperately to stop this worldwide publication of my photo update.
Well, I never figured it out. I was absolutely mortified that somehow, people were getting gargantuan photos of me posted on their Walls indicating that I had updated my profile, or whatever I was allegedly doing. HEY EVERYONE, HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME! LOOK AT ME!
Good Lord.
So, to anyone who received some nefarious posting in your Facebook, alerting you to the fact that I changed my photo, I apologize. Thank you for your lovely comments. Thank you for liking me. Please know, though, that you will not likely see an updated photo of myself for at least another 40 years. In the meantime, I don't want to see another picture of your face. You're great and all, but, just. Stop.
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