Back in the early days of the internet, and before I had my own computer, I had a female friend who was constantly falling in love with "Men" she had met in chat rooms. I thought this ridiculous and dangerous, and told her as much. I didn't understand anything about chat rooms or even what "LOL" meant (I thought it meant "lots of love"), but it seemed to me that the internet was a good breeding ground for weirdos preying on gullible women.
Many years later, I started to understand a little more about on-line relationships (the real ones, where you have verified that you are not dealing with a creepy guy wearing a suit made of human skin), and how it is plausible to feel "love" towards a person who you have not met in "real" life.
Now, I’m not going to go into the differences between “Love” and “love” right now, or the difference between being in love with a person and loving a person, because I already discussed some of that in a previous post.
Honestly, I generally tend to poo poo the whole “I love you” thing if it is expressed over the internet by an unmet acquaintance. I take the phrase quite seriously, and I think it deserves some respect. Plus, there’s also the fact that you can’t Love someone if you’ve never been within ten feet of them. You can care about them, worry about them, fantasize about them, reeeeally like them, but “Love” them? Seems a little dramatic.
I remember having this discussion with my first “real” on line acquaintance, an Italian gentleman who I will refer to as “Jack.” We met as international penpals, and I was ga-ga over everything he said. We shared extremely long emails about our lives, our dreams, our everythings. When we rolled around to the discussion on “love”, I told him of my reluctance to use that big three word phrase. He then explained the nuances between the phrases “ti voglio bene” (love/intense like) and “ti amo” (Love). It seems to me that there should be some English equivalent. At least for internet purposes. "I intense like you" does not sound so great in our language.
As we all know, the internet can allow us the opportunity to be anything we want to be. If we are shy, the internet can help with that. We can hide behind the anonymity the internet allows. This, of course, can be a blessing or a curse. It is well known that many people who would normally seem nice can turn into raging, disrespectful, lying human beings on the internet. There is nothing preventing them from saying anything they please. Anyone who has played an MMORPG can attest to this. Alternatively, it can allow someone to be completely honest about themselves, and not have to worry about blushing or saying something truly “dumb.”
For me, I have always considered that there is no reason to be dishonest, internet or not. I’m me, I’m okay with who I am (for the most part), and there seems no reason to lie about that. It doesn’t mean I’m going to give my full name, address, and bra size to anyone I encounter, but it doesn’t mean I have to lie about them, either. Sure, I’d like to be a DD bra wearing lady living in a chateau in France, but it’s not right for me to insist that I am. I wouldn’t lie about that in person, why would I lie about it on line?
Anyway, the thing is, if the people we encounter are the honest type, and we’re the honest type, then I do believe that internet “love” can happen. I don’t consider it the same as “Love”, but it is a lesser form of it (unless the two meet up, which is another story). Provided that people understand the difference, and are emotionally mature enough to know what it is, I'm all for it. I think that's a key statement right there.
I have met some pretty beautiful people because of the internet, and I know a few folks who are now married because of the internet. Now, you are all likely aware of my old fashioned ways and my dislike of some modern day technologies, but I suppose in this case, I'll give my blessing to the internet and its potential for making Love, or at least love, happen.
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